Living in the Now.

Living in the Now.

Where do you live, or rather, where does your mind live? Do you spend the precious moments of your presence reliving the past, or are you focused on the future, on what could be rather than what is? Are you angry, or disappointed, are you impatient, or anxious; what are you feeling?

Close your eyes for a moment.

Notice where your thoughts first wander.

Wherever they go, don’t stop them from going. Give your mind the freedom to think its own thoughts, subconsciously. In the meantime, with your eyes still closed, feel your heart beating in your chest. Don’t find your pulse, remain completely still, allow your conscious mind to find your heart. Let it hover there, as your body rises and falls with every breath it takes.

Notice how, for a moment, you had forgotten about your subconscious self and its frantic dissection of past and future events or occurrences. Notice how, for a moment, you were completely present.

That feeling of being grounded in the energy your being radiates is peace. You are at peace. You are at peace amongst the chaos your mind creates, so breathe in.

Breathe out, and breathe in again.

Find solace in simply being.

I Choose Life

I Choose Life

My brain has spent the past month curled in the corner of my head between the thesis of an essay I have yet to complete, and the knowledge that I’m am completely insignificant, the knowledge that my life, your life, will inevitably end. And, maybe its depression slowly worming its way back into my head, dragging curtains of anxiety across the panes of whatever it is September was supposed to be, or maybe its just me.

Maybe its just me.

But I’m right, aren’t I? In the great scheme of the universe, from the milky way to galaxies we haven’t dreamt of discovering, we are nothing. I am nothing, you are nothing.

If you had told me that a week ago I would have shut down, emptied myself of emotion, and refused to accept reality for what it is, but today, I smile. I smile because there is beauty in insignificance. I smile because life is beautiful, because we are life, because I’ve been blessed with the light of living, with the ability to feel, and connect, and grow.

And maybe there’s no reason, but this is life. This moment, right now. I may not have the future, but I have the present, and what I do with it is completely up to me.

Centre yourself, allow yourself to fall into the flow of Earth’s rhythm, into the rhythm of 8 billion hearts beating as one, rising and falling, and breathing. Always breathing. The past has already been claimed, the future is uncertain, and life is being lived, right now.

Let go, and live.

 

Losing My Beautiful

Losing My Beautiful

On July seventeenth of 2012, I turned 13 years old. I had finally reached that dreaded but so exhilarating stage of life as a teenager. I was a teenager, I had grown up in a matter of weeks, but on the morning of my birthday I sat down in front of my mother’s vanity and applied a layer of mascara for the first time. It was monumental really, the beginning and the end of something I wouldn’t understand until 4 years later on a Monday morning as I sat in my Grandma’s car and stared into the rearview mirror at my face without the mask I had become so accustomed to living in: my makeup. I found confidence in painted lips, and eyeliner that made me into the person I thought the world wanted me to be, the girl whose cheekbones were ‘too wide set’ to be considered beautiful, whose reality could be blended out with a feathered brush and setting powder.

I lost my beautiful.

I lost my beautiful the day I realized I couldn’t leave the house without having concealed the evidence of another sleepless night, without having curled my lashes, or combed out my brows. I became unknowingly obsessed with myself. Makeup was supposed to be proof of my coming of age, another adventure, another accomplishment. Its only ever proved to be more deadly to me than depression or anxiety ever was.

The moment you can no longer stand the sight of your unmade up self, is the moment in which you will finally understand the power society’s routines, and rituals, have over you. From your first trip to the pharmacy, a drive along a billboarded highway, or a google search of anything, your mind is bombarded with the reality of women everywhere: makeup has become the epitome of a feminine feature.

I will no longer be considered less of a woman because I choose to embrace a makeup-less face on the daily. I will no longer be considered less of a woman because I choose to dress up for myself rather than for the pleasure of society and its standards of beauty.

My womanliness will be found in the kindness I bestow upon the world, measured by the sound of my heart beating in my chest as I live and thrive as a being not a woman. I am not just a woman. I am a human. I am alive, and because I am alive I am beautiful.

We are beautiful.

We are alive.

 

‘Streaming’

‘Streaming’

Saturated starlight, stories, pages without ink. You don’t live here, you live there, in a world created out of contrasted gigabytes, and the death of conversation.  Worlds that depend on your ignorance, a currency developed out of the consumerist being that lives inside of us, teaching generations to become a race of copy written features, lost without the static of life not lived, of dreams that end in the syllables of words we create because we’ve lost the motivation to be a species that looks up rather than down, that laughs rather than inserts a fragile lol.  how to live outside this universe our obsessions have become. To create, to laugh loudly, without the echoes of streamed happiness running through our minds, to fall in love, to find ourselves, we must look to the universe inside.

Put down your phone.

(Who are you really?)

The Skin We Live In

The Skin We Live In

We  live to be defined, to be labeled: white, black, fat, skinny, our lives are without worth if we aren’t looking to achieve whatever definition of normal society adopts. We as humans are no longer recognized for our successes and ideas, but by our bodies. We are our bodies.

We’ve forgotten that who we are lies beneath this skin we live in. Our bodies are the vessels we inhabit, a place of temporary existence, the carriers of our minds and our souls, not our worth. Your stretch marks, scars, imperfections, they are merely evidence of your being alive.

There are unknown depths swimming inside of you, pools of ideas and creative ambition that have yet to be explored. So spend less time hating yourself, and more time discovering who you really are.

You are not the skin you live in.